It is so important to be on the right road. For years you have been trying to do better. If only you could make a final, lasting decision to do better. But you have not been able to. Why? Doing better was the wrong goal. Giving up and trusting Him is the right decision. Once you see the difference, you will see that God permitted you to live in defeat for a reason. You will see why God put man, a spiritual being, in flesh similar to an animal’s. He knew the spirit of Adam would not overcome the flesh! He did not intend it to. He intended for you to try to overcome in your own strength, become defeated and discouraged, and embrace His strength. “Power perfected in weakness!” It was the will of God (the mind and heart of God) that you be defeated and discover His strength. Beautiful! We see again how nothing is out of control, all is done in His wisdom, and His goal is the revelation of Christ in you, the hope of glory. The right choice is to give up, trust God, and abide. Then you will pray, read, and love when needed.
Simple! Our God has done it all!